Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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