I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
