I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize