Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
