then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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