Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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