Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
