just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
