When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
