I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
