is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
