Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
