I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
