none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i dont even know how to be here
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize