We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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