Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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