One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
