So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
