Me too!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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