matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
