did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize