Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
