I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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