We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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