Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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