its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
