This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize