I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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