He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
