3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize