the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize