I'm really into asian looking animals
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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