you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
