she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
