my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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