school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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