Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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