That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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