I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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