We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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