I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
