Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
