I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I came so hard my ears popped.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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