I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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