do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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