At least make sure they are 18
Why
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize