Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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