Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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