idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
