So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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