it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
