Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
