I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
