Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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