okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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