i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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