Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
