For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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