Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
