found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
