We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
