I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
